shinewriter

Choose Your Weapon
by Stephen Clover

The battle lines had been drawn a long time ago. So choose your weapon. But what can we use when our enemy is invisible.

We find some clues in Ephesians chapter 6. Not only do we have a weapon but we are issued with a suit of armour.

And as the words of the old hymn go. ‘Each piece goes on with prayer.’ Perhaps it’s something like this. The prayer that is.

Lord I give myself to you afresh this day and ask for your heavenly protection.

I claim and put on by faith the helmet of salvation. Please protect my mind and imaginations.

I also claim the breastplate of righteousness. May your righteousness sustain me.

Lord, I claim and put on the belt of truth. Help me to always know the truth and speak the truth of your salvation.

I put on the shoes of the Gospel of peace. Help me be prepared to share your Gospel.

I take up the shield of faith. That you Jesus are Lord of lords and King of kings.

I take up the sword of the Spirit. May your word be in my heart, on my lips and in my hands this day. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.

When Cleaning a Chimney
by Stephen Clover

Why should we ever bother cleaning it? How do we know it’s even dirty? The fire still lights. Right! So it must be okay.

What if I was the chimney? What if you were? Can we get blocked up? Yes we can. The things that life throws at us will create a blockage in our life. Here are a few:

Hate
Soured relationships
Drug abuse
A broken heart
Greed
Envy

If we are not careful these things become baggage. They slow us down as we travel through life. To the point where there is a gap between us and our loved ones. These things can even come between us and God.

The good news is you don’t need a shot gun to get cleaned out. Here are some words you can say that will start you on this journey. They are:

I’m sorry
Please forgive me
I was wrong
You were right
I love you

When people hear these words it will cause them to stop and listen. I’m sure you know what else you have to say.

Now suppose you speak along these lines to God. Imagine the response. It’s true my friend. I’ve said them myself and so have others. Here is a challenge for you. Try it today. It’s true. Get real with God and he will get real with you.

Send the children off to Grandmas
by Stephen Clover

There are times in our life when we need space. Having grandparents is a godsend. Let’s face it. Grandparents just love their grandchildren to bits. Almost as much as Christ loves us.

If both parents are working then it’s a good time out. You can relax and do some things around the house. It’s a good catch up time.

Children like to imitate and we only want them to copy the good things . . . right. My eldest is now 31. When he was 4 he was watching me fill up the mower.

“What are you doing”, he asked.
“Giving the mower a drink,” I innocently replied.

The next time I went to use the mower it wouldn’t start. I unscrewed the cap. To my amazement it was full of raspberry cordial. Never said a word to anybody.

When we are working long hours the tiredness tends to creep up slowly. Please believe me. There are times when we need to send the children off to grandmas.

Ring your Local Council
by
Stephen Clover

Where ever we choose to live and whatever path we follow in life there will always be rules. Even a public toilet has protocols. So why do we get our backs up with church rules.

Church is a little like the council at times. They have good and bad points. This of course depends on your location. A denomination looks at life from a different perspective as well.

If you want to be a Christian its best to go to church not the council. Here you will learn how to be one. A Christian that is. If this is not happening change churches. Warning: no church is perfect neither are the people who go there.

Here is a formula for choosing a church.

My wife an I have been married 20 years. We’ve lived in a different house each year in 6 different towns. This is how it works for us.

The first visit to a new church is always good. Us newbie’s are the centre of attention. We get invitations to lunch and get given food parcels. On the second visit there is not so much attention. This time we get to listen to the sermon. Finally on the third visit we have a good idea. Midweek we’ve visited a house church and any other meetings. If we feel comfortable we pray leaving the result in God’s hands.

How to clean a Chimney with a Shotgun
By
Stephen Clover

1. Ring your local council to see if you need a permit. In some towns it’s an offence to discharge a firearm within city limits.

2. Send the children off to grandma’s.

3. As when cleaning a chimney in the conventional manner make sure it’s cold. Remove the grate and sweep the area.

4.Choose your weapon. A double barrel shotgun gets the best results.

5. Load a cartridge in each barrel. It’s crucial that the pellets are lead as it is these that do the cleaning.

6. Stand the weapon on its butt. Make sure the barrels are inside the chimney opening. Very important.

7. There are earplugs and all sorts of ear protection devices. Please choose one. Then proceed to step eight.

8. This is the fun part. Gently squeeze the trigger. When the dust has settled the lead pellets would have stopped dancing on your roof as well.

9. Now is the time to discharge the second barrel. When all’s quiet remove the gun and replace the grate.

10. Place crumpled newspaper on grate with kindling then light. Sit back and enjoy. If it has not rained in two or three days it is advisable to hose the roof.