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Sep 11 2008

How to Clean a Chimney With a Shotgun

Published by shinewriter at 1:30 am under Christian Chatter Edit This

How to clean a Chimney with a Shotgun
By
Stephen Clover

1. Ring your local council to see if you need a permit. In some towns it’s an offence to discharge a firearm within city limits.

2. Send the children off to grandma’s.

3. As when cleaning a chimney in the conventional manner make sure it’s cold. Remove the grate and sweep the area.

4.Choose your weapon. A double barrel shotgun gets the best results.

5. Load a cartridge in each barrel. It’s crucial that the pellets are lead as it is these that do the cleaning.

6. Stand the weapon on its butt. Make sure the barrels are inside the chimney opening. Very important.

7. There are earplugs and all sorts of ear protection devices. Please choose one. Then proceed to step eight.

8. This is the fun part. Gently squeeze the trigger. When the dust has settled the lead pellets would have stopped dancing on your roof as well.

9. Now is the time to discharge the second barrel. When all’s quiet remove the gun and replace the grate.

10. Place crumpled newspaper on grate with kindling then light. Sit back and enjoy. If it has not rained in two or three days it is advisable to hose the roof.

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